Over the past year, ok really over the past 6 months, I’ve gone through some major changes in my life. Lately I find myself measuring myself to the past. Now I know that’s not the best way to live… always thinking about the past, but with so many things changing I feel like I need a way to measure the changes.
Obviously some of these are really easy to measure, such as losing weight. Over the past year I’ve lost almost 40 pounds. Now, don’t get too excited over that, I’m not on any fancy diet and I didn’t start working out 4 hours a day. I simply eat less and (mostly) healthier. Right now, my body seems to revolt after anything I eat, so I eat less. I don’t recommend this as a weight-loss program, however for now, this is one thing working to my benefit. :)
SMX West 2010 and SMX West 2011
Thanks to my good friend Dana Lookadoo for the pics!
But other changes are a bit harder to track. Like self-awareness and self-confidence. One way I’ve found to see the changes in my self-confidence is to see the differences between my first Whiteboard Friday in February 2010 and my latest one in February 2011. I think it’s obvious that part of it is my weight-loss, but it also is just the fact I have more confidence in myself and with showing myself on video.
It’s a bit painful for me to watch that first one. It was actually my friend Danny Dover’s first time doing a Whiteboard Friday too! (Read more about his transformation on Danny’s blog). The thing is I feel more confident in my work these days, in my presence in the community (er… I’d hope so seeing that I’m a Community Manager :), and as a woman in general.
Dealing with chemo and the crap that goes along with it, just makes other things happen a bit easier. Getting up in front of a camera? Pfft no problem, I fricken had cancer YO! See… everything else jut seems a bit easier. :)
Now… self-awareness, how do you track something like that? It’s more something that I feel, and changes that go on within me that matter. But I’ve also noticed that I’m more thoughtful than I was before (ok some of you may not agree with this, heh). I used to always have these great intentions of sending personalized thank you notes, or making hand-made birthday cards. But I never did it. These days, I’ve started actually doing those things. I do think part of this comes from the fact that so many people have done these very sweet, thoughtful things for me. It makes me want to do better.
In the beginning of the year I started writing a similar type post, but for some reason I could never finish it. Another thing I learned recently is to not push it if something isn’t ready. Whether it’s a blog post that just isn’t ready for prime time, or that our daughter just isn’t quite ready to be a rocket scientist, it’s ok. It will happen when it’s time.
I look forward to continually tracking these changes and seeing the improvements. Luckily (or possibly unluckily) for me, I’m in the public quite a bit. And by public I mean the internet. :) My work is visible to anyone with an internet connection, so I can continue to see my own growth. Plus, the more I put myself out there, the more I want to improve. So there… the beginning of the transformation of Jen. How ya like me now?!