There used to be a time when being “normal” seemed like the right way to go. You know… meet a guy, date the guy, marry him, buy a house, yada yada yada, and live happily ever after. Once you do all these things and follow society’s steps you’re supposed to be happy right?
Yea, well fuck that. Doing things the normal way has never been the path to happiness for me personally, nor for my family. I won’t go into too much detail, but it suffices to say that as individuals and as a family we dance to the beat of our own drum.
For years I’ve struggled with this. I wanted to be normal, damn it. I really fought with the idea that being happy might just mean not doing things the “normal” way. But recently, I’ve really opened up to the idea. In fact after I let my mind and heart relax a bit and not be so worried about how things are supposed to be happen, I found happiness.
In a year where the family moved from Denver (where our support system is) to Seattle, I completely changed roles at work, I had surgery to remove cancer from colon and I started chemotherapy treatments, you’d think I’d be one grumpy lady. But the opposite has happened because I finally realized that it’s ok to do things our own way.
For example, when Rudy first suggested that we turn our dining room into a play area for Eva, I was totally opposed to it. You see, I was holding on to the idea that some day we’d actually sit down at that damn table and have dinner together. I mean, that’s what everyone tells us right? That your family will be healthier and happier if you have dinner together at the table. But here’s the thing, we don’t EVER sit at the table to eat dinner. Ever.
Luckily Rudy could see this and he brought it up again. Once again I put up a bit of a fight but finally gave in when I let myself realize that we don’t use the dining room anyway as it’s intended. So why not give it a shot? Of course it has worked out to be great! [Yes… I’m admitting Rudy was right.] Eva gets to hang out in her play room, while we’re in the living room, and we still feel like we’re all together.
So you might be wondering where we eat our meals if we don’t use the table? Well, we use the coffee table. Or… well… we did. Until we got rid of that too. :) When we got a Kinect for ourselves for Christmas (thanks sweetie!) Rudy rearranged the living room so we’d have room to play. But what we found was that we really liked not having the big coffee table in the middle of the room all the time. It means that we have this huge open area between the living room and dining room Eva’s play room and it.is.awesome.
Plus, now at meal time we sit on the floor and Eva pretends we’re at the beach. Seriously. Who needs a table, when we have happiness instead.
Look mom! No table!